Reverb10 7.12.10 - Community

Prompt: Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?

Only a few months ago, I discovered the world of blogging. Although I still feel a novice, I am finding it easier and easier to put in writing what I'm thinking on a daily or weekly basis. This is a community I would like connect with in the year ahead. I know I have found a lot of pleasure in reading other more established blogs and can only hope that I can offer the same to anyone who stumbles accross mine. :)

Reverb10 6.12.10 - Make

Prompt: Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it?

Cake of course!

Sticky Toffee Cake (shamelessly taken from The Caked Crusader blog)

For the cake:225g stoned dates

300ml water
1 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
115g unsalted butter, at room temperature
175g soft light brown sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
175g self raising flour

For the toffee icing:90ml (6 tablespoons) double cream
80g soft light brown sugar
25g unsalted butter
25g icing sugar (25!! Not 250 like my boyfriend measured out!)

      Preheat the oven to 180°C/fan oven 160°C/350°F/Gas mark 4 

Line a 20cm square loose bottomed tin with greaseproof paper.

Using scissors (I find this the least messy way) snip the dates into pieces – about the size of a small grape

Place the dates and the water in a saucepan. Pick a large saucepan because the mix will bubble up considerably when you stir in the bicarbonate of soda

Bring the dates and water to the boil and then boil, uncovered for 10 minutes

Remove from the heat and stir in the bicarbonate of soda

Leave to cool

Cream together the butter and sugar until smooth, pale and airy

Beat in the eggs and vanilla extract

Fold in the flour and the dates

Spoon into the prepared baking tin and level the surface

Bake for approximately 35 minutes or until a skewer inserted into the centre of the cake comes out virtually clean – it won’t be perfectly clean because of the gooey dates

Check the cake 10 minutes from the end to ensure that the top is not burning – the dates can catch. If necessary, cover the cake with foil for the last 10 minutes

Leave to cool in the tin until you can comfortably handle the tin and turn the cake out. Leave to cool completely on a wire rack

For the icing heat the cream, brown sugar and butter over a gentle heat until the sugar dissolves i.e. you cannot see the granules on the back of the spoon

Bring to the boil and cook, uncovered, for 4 minutes until it turns golden. Do not stir. If the mixture darkens too quickly simply remove it from the heat before the 4 minutes is up

Leave to cool

Beat the icing sugar into the icing until smooth

      Spread over the top of the cake – you might find this easier with a wetted palette knife

Reverb10 5.12.10 - Let Go

Prompt: Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?

Letting go of lamenting past years and good memories allowed me to look ahead to a future of good memories waiting to be made.

Reverb10 4.12.10 - Wonder

Prompt: Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year?

I remember at the beginning of the year at my first gym assessment when my trainer asked me which of the machines was my least favourite. I hated running and barely ever used the treadmill, but really wanted to learn to like it. My trainer started me off with 10 minutes of 1 minute intervals and I can recall getting to the end of each minute of running as a gasping, sweating mess. This seemed to go on for ages without much improvement, managing to step up the intervals to 2 minutes running, 1 minute walking. Then one day at the end of my 2 minute run, I realised I wasn't tired and carried on for another minute, at the end of that minute I still wasn't tired, neither at the end of the 4th minute. I managed to run for 7 minutes in a row!

I carried on improving slowly and started road running, which I never thought I would never ever do. After deciding to run a new route I came home and calculated the distance and found out that I had run 5.5km! Ok, so it wasn't in record time, but i had done it and the sense of accomplishment was amazing. I am now running frequently, albeit currently at the gym due to weather related restrictions, I am also hill and endurance training, and considering running a Race For Life next year.

Enriching my life by learning a new skill and picking up a new hobby (especially one that I NEVER thought I would be able to do, let alone enjoy) and feeling myself improving, getting better, fitter and stronger, then getting to a point where I realise just 12 months ago, I couldn't have imagined being the standard I am now, has been the biggest wonder of my year.

Reverb10 3.12.10 - Moment

Prompt: Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors).

Crashing, foamy waves, dusky red sky, the smell of salt and fresh air. It's August, I'm standing on a beach in North Devon, the location of my family's holiday home, balancing on a wobbly rock with my boyfriend who's come down with me for the first time. There's something about that place, whether it's the hordes of childhood memories harboured in the scenery, the staggering beauty of the jagged cliff edge and vast expanse of hostile ocean, or something comfortingly invisible; something spiritual that no one can prove. I regrettably only manage to make it down there about once a year, but when I get there, I always feel like I'm home.

Reverb10 2.12.10 - Writing

Writing. What do you do each day that doesn't contribute to your writing -- and can you eliminate it?

I'm not a writer, and I don't pretend to be. I got a B in 'A' Level English Lit despite my awesome essay on the significance of the paper weight in '1984.' I am however a creative person, and I cannot deny that creativity has been put on the back burner this year.

If I had to pinpoint the part of my day that doesn't contribute to my creativity, it would be the hours between 9-5 when I'm sitting behind a computer trying to organise and manage other people's lives. Unfortunately, eliminating this would result in me being deemed unemployed - not really an option. But what I can do is modify it; and next year will hopefully result in a new job more relative to my interests and skills.

Despite this cruel and unfair creative supression, I sometimes catch glimpses of my former arty-type tendancies rising to the surface of my temporarily straight-laced 9-5 life. This blog, for a start, is an outlet for the endless ramblings in my head, although still new to the blogging world, I find myself questioning what I should put out there in the online world and thus tend to hold back the worst of the psycho-spew.

I suppose I reserve my creativity in fear of not being good enough; from not having enough time to invest in putting some real effort in, or just not being accepted by my peers - I always come up with an excuse. This is something that I definitely can, and want to, eliminate.

Reverb10 1.12.10 - One Word

I've decided to get involved in the #reverb10 project to get thinking about the past year and plan for the year ahead:

Reverb 10 is an annual event and online initiative to reflect on your year and manifest what’s next. The end of the year is an opportunity to reflect on what's happened, and to send out reverberations for the year ahead. With Reverb 10, we'll do both.

This year, for me, has been a strange one - a period I believe everybody leaving University experiences - basically joining the real world and figuring out the person you are going to be now there's no longer a shield of hungover, unwashed studentness to hide behind.

Every day in December I'll be given a prompt from a variety of selected people and authors to give me an idea to write about. Today is the first day:

Prompt: One Word. Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you're choosing that word. Now, imagine it's one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?

Necessary

This was not the the first word that came to me after reading the prompt. 'Struggle' was in fact a strong contender and I have definitely felt this year to be a struggle. I never thought I would move home after finishing university, I had actually planned on travelling for a year, but I unfortunately graduated at a rubbish time and left uni with no money, a huge debt and no job prospects. I was luckily offered a job quite quickly, (albeit in a sector lightyears away from what I studied to do) and, despite a slight reluctance at having to postpone my travelling plans for a permenant job, I accepted it and moved home.

I always knew this year was going to be hard; after 3 years of living away from home, making new friends, going out every night, I was now miles away from all my friends, living with my parents and working 9-5. There were points at the beginning of the year where I would wish I could just fall asleep and wake up a year later. I knew 2010 was going to suck but I kept telling myself that it was a means to an end so I could save some money, build up some work experience and then be all set to travel and move out in 2011. In this way my experiences in 2010 were necessary for my plans for the future.

However, here I am - December 2010 - the month I thought would never arrive, and I can now look back over the past 12 months and appreciate that this year was not just necessary financially or for my career, but necessary for my growth as an adult and a person. My business experience; working 9-5 and earning a salary, acting (most of the time blagging it) as a professional, having responsibilities stretching beyond organising Friday's bar crawl, and being accountable for things that affected other people's lives. My relationships; appreciating my friendships and working to overcome the distance between us, realising the people who also put the effort in are the friends worth keeping and who will probably be friends for life. Also learning what it's like to be in a relationship; the benefits it brings and the changes you go through to make it work. Learning that if you want something, you have to work for it - in any area of life.

In this respect I feel the year 2010 has been necessary to my personal growth, and from what started as a stop-gap between chunks of my life, it has become the link beetween being a child and becoming an adult.

I predict my word for 2011 will be discovery as I will be embarking on the next stage of my life; travelling, moving to the City, closer to friends but further from my boyfriend, living on my own again, new job, new friends, new lessons to be learnt and more life experiences to be discovered.

Pressing on - positivity and perseverance

HA 'Next week's plans' - what a joke. I'm laughing in the face of 'next week's plans' as I - in slow motion -drive over a cliff, Thelma and Louise stylie. However, as we all know, driving over that cliff wasn't actually the best option for old Thelms and Loulou, as it neither is for me.

In all seriousness, I'm having a bit of a crap week with car trouble, resulting in complete and utter pre-Christmas bankruptcy and having to rely on other people for transportation, meaning no gym trips. This has therefore not been a fantastic start to my run up to Christmas butt kick initiative and I've been feeling a bit rubbish about it, especially after a wedge of Mum's fruitcake last night on a 1100 calorie allowance with no extra exercise which took me well over calories and now I'm full-on chastising myself and feeling even crappier. :(

There's nothing like feeling like a failure to compel you to continue failing.

I mustn't let this set the precedent for the next few weeks, I must press on and force positivity on myself. I still have three weeks before Christmas - that's potentially 6lbs I could lose - almost half a stone! It's going to be difficult to replace my winter blues f*ck it attitude with perseverance and positivity, but I HAVE to do it if I want to feel good about myself and in control.

(To anyone who didn't know the ending of Thelma and Louise - sorry I gave it away, but in all fairness you must live in a box or something)