Last week - results and goals

I've tried uploading a snapshot of my spreadsheet SO many times and it isn't working so this post will have to do without!

Ok, so I was over calories by 794 calories last week. Considering the troubles I've had in the past with sticking to a 1100 calorie allowance, I'm actually really pleased with this result. The good thing about being on 2lb loss, is that even if you are a few hundred calories over, you're still on track to lose a couple of pounds. In fact, I've done the maths and even if I ate 1,750 calories over my current allowance, I'd still be on track to lose 1.5lbs!

Another major achievement is that I'm totally controlling my calorie intake more at the weekends. I remember when I was lucky enough to scrape 1000 calories or so over in the two days, but last week I was under on Saturday and only over by 120 on Sunday!! (We'll glance past the complete fail on Friday with that stupid piece of devious cake right at the end of an on-track day!)

Also, this is a learning curve. I'm not here to be perfect 100% of the time - life just isn't like that - and in order to have a life, perfection is impossible. I will be happy if I can just improve a little each week. For instance - I was within my calories only two out the seven days last week (albeit one day I was over by 5.5cals - barely worth mentioning). This week I'd like to try and be within calories maybe three or four days out of seven, and since Friday I've only been over one day, so this goal is well within my grasp.

With a bit of analysis, it can be determined that the days I went over calories were the days I did less or no exercise. I'm comfortable with this - it's impossible to fit exercise in every single day of the week and I just have to learn to either be extra careful on these days, or save some calories up on the days I do exercise (although this will throw off my day-to-day calorie tracker.)

So my plans for this week are:

• Drink more water!
• Eat more fruit and veg (although I don't record the amounts in my spreadsheet, I know I'm slacking on this at the moment)
• Aim to stay within calories for at least three days this week
• Continue with exercising as much as possible (activity results are to follow)

Reverb10 13.12.10 - Action

Prompt: Action. When it comes to aspirations, it's not about ideas. It's about making ideas happen. What's your next step?

My next step is everything I have mentioned so far in Reverb10! Next year I want to travel, to move house, to find a new job, to further my fitness and weightloss, to develop my relationships. I fully intend on actioning these plans. Infact they aren't merely plans, but a checklist waiting to be executed.

2011 is going to be a big year for me!

Reverb10 - 12.12.10 - Body Integration

Prompt: Body integration. This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn't mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present?

Like many overweight people, I have always felt like there was a thin person trapped inside of me fighting to get out. My image in the mirror never matched  the image in my head - how I looked was never the same as how I felt.

Right now, I am the fittest I have ever been, and the lightest I've been since my mid teens (from what I can remember - it might even be earlier than that.) As I inch nearer to the body I have always imagined myself to have, as opposed to the body I saw in the mirror, I feel more comfortable and easy in my own skin.

When I'm running up a hill or lifting a heavy weight, controlling my breathing, pushing through the throbbing in my muscles, I amazed at my body and its ability to do things I never would have imagined it could have. How much I have wasted its potential in the past. My body is an amazing tool and I feel more "complete" and at one with myself right now than ever before.

Reverb 10 11.12.10 - 11 Things

Prompt: 11 Things. What are 11 things your life doesn't need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?

I just accidentally deleted this post - doubly annoying as it was a hard one! Here it is in brief:

1. My job - get a new one
2. My 40 minute commute - as above
3. Living with my parents - move out
4. My car - please see new job and moving out
5. Unhealthy body image - working on it
6. Delaying weightloss - just get on with it
7. Watching crap TV - read more
8. Listening to crap music - more effort into researching new artists
9. No time for creativity - make time
10. Dehydration - drink more water
11. Cautious blogging - throw caution to the wind!

I suppose the purpose of most plans and resolutions is to create a fulfilling, happier life. These are no different.

Reverb10 10.12.10 - Wisdom

Prompt: Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?

I'm not really one for making wise decisions. Even decisions I make that produce fortunate results I will deem as luck rather than the product of any wisdom on my part. Normally the wisest decisions I make begin life as things I don't particularly want to do, but know that I really should. In this regard, a selection of wise decisions I have made this year that have had an impact (large or small) on my daily life:

To join a gym
To internet date
To start running
To wax

The results of these decisions is that I am now fitter, healthier, faster, less hairy and no longer single. Could the first four generate the fifth?! What a triumph of a year...

Reverb10 9.12.10 - Party!

Prompt: Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans.

I love travelling - visiting new places, being immersed in cultures a million miles away from those which I'm used to. I haven't done as much travelling as I would have liked, as a student it's almost a rite of passage that you go off and explore the world, but I haven't yet found the chance and want to rectify this in the next few years.

This year I visited Thailand for the second time and also my second Full Moon Party held on the tiny island of Koh Phangan, coincidentally my favourite place in Thailand. Since my first Full Moon Party the reputation of it has become huge, it's now a monthly institution attracting travellers from across the globe, offering a sort of Club 18 - 30 for adventurous types.

The sound of the pumping base of numerous speakers can be heard half way across the island, you approach by long tail boat gliding through dark still waters and turning into the bay, the beach glitters with a million fairy lights and bonfires.

Touching down on the sand I somehow found myself with bucket in hand, filled with dubious looking liquids poured from little brown glass bottles. Drifting from one pumping gathering to the next, the beach is dotted with fire tricks and DJs playing all sorts of repetitive, mesmerising music. Dancing. Jumping. Sweating.

Despite being terribly hardcore the previous time and staying until the sun came up, this year I was unfortunately a few years older and by about 3pm, I was ready to go home. Unfortunately, my friend and I had left the key to our hut with the reception for safe keeping which, of course, isn't manned at such an unGodly hour, so we ended up sleeping in hammocks on the beach until the sun came up and civilisation had awoken.

Reverb10 8.12.10 - Beautifully Different

Prompt: Beautifully different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different - you'll find they're what make you beautiful.

The world according to me:

I both love and hate the fact that I'm a classically trained musician. It's a talent I am truly grateful for, but it causes me to feel horrendously guilty for not exercising that talent nearly as much as I should.

I believe music is a powerful tool. It is a universal language that can communicate between cultures. It can change a mood, an opinion, a taste. It can be representative of politics, religion, emotion. Most importantly, it makes our world more beautiful.

"Without music, life would be a mistake" - Nietzsche

I hate the cold. I could quite happily live in a country where winter doesn't exist.

I'm a creative person. There is nothing more satisfying for me than seeing the fruits of my labour in front of me as a real, malleable entity, whether it be a painting, a photograph, a piece of writing, or even a cake!

I love Stephen Fry. I wish he was my uncle.

I have never been one to talk to myself out loud. But I'm pretty much constantly having a conversation with myself in my head.

I love chocolate. If I had to choose between never eating chocolate again or never seeing my boyfriend again, I would choose the chocolate. My boyfriend knows this and is still with me; he obviously doesn't consider this a realistic risk to our relationship.

I often have violent dreams. They aren't nightmares; I don't wake up feeling scared.

I love the country, but there's something I find mysteriously exciting about cities at nighttime. It's like a secret party everyone is invited to.

I love antiques and vintage because I love knowing something has a history - that goes for both people and objects.

Almost all my social/cultural/psychological/philosophical/religious/historical/general knowledge has come from literature. I love film, but it's always been books that have really rocked my world.

Sometimes I wish life was more formal. I like the thought of old-fashioned manners and tradition - something I think modern life can sometimes lack.

My friends are the most important aspect of my life. They are my inspiration, my competition, my support network, my past and my present.

I find my family can sometimes feel like a burden, but at the end of the day, they are the people most likely to stick by me no matter what I do. And my siblings are the most likely people to be with me until the very end. Friends will come in and out of my life, good friends will stay for longer, but family will be there forever.

In Other News!

As you can see I'm just about keeping up with the Reverb10 posts. Whilst they are pretty much dominating my blog and consuming weight-loss related hyperspace, I don't really mind that much because I'm really enjoying the pressure of having to write about things outside of my comfort zone. I feel very self conscious when talking about my feelings and to be given a guiding platform to do so has been quite liberating!

Anyway, back to the situation at hand. I'm feeling really really great this week, I've had a couple of slip-ups (one of them completely unfair where I ate a bit of cake naively thinking it would only be about 150 calories, which I had to spare, only to find out it was actually 550 calories!! Taking me way over my allowance for the day) but on the whole, I'm managing surprisingly well to stick to my 1100 calories per day allowance. This is mainly because I'm exercising pretty much everyday which I'm loving and, in the past week alone, I have seriously noticed my fitness improve and my body tone up. On Sunday I achieved my personal best on my run around my village in 18 minutes, on Monday, I finished my hill interval training on the treadmill without stopping for the first time, and my recovery time was about 30 seconds! I am now doing three sets of 15 press-ups without my arms going into spasm! Etc etc.

All in all, I'm feeling fantastic and everything is going well. I have had a sneaky peak at the scales, and still no loss, but I'm not letting this get me down, there is no biological reason why I would be retaining fat, so I can only put it down to excess water retention from all the exercise and hope that it all evens out by the 24th December when I will do an official weigh-in.

I am very late in posting a picture of my November exercise timetable, as it has now been December for an entire week!

I honestly felt November to be a huge struggle in finding the motivation to exercise, and the fact that I can now look at this timetable with my stars and sad faces and feel such a sense of achievement that I soldiered through and forced myself to do it. The last few days were a little disappointing due to having no car to get myself to the gym, and this frustrates me, but I won't let it tarnish the whole month. I think this is something to be really proud of!

I don't exactly know why or how, but I am currently just not feeling the same sense of struggle that I did in November. I wrote a week ago "there's nothing like feeling like a failure to compel you to continue failing" but in the same breath, and that of which I am very much in the mindset now,

There's nothing like succeeding to encourage you to continue your success.