Weigh-In

Dreaded weigh-in today, and it's not a good one. I have stayed the same as last week, which is doubly frustrating as, until Saturday morning, I was showing a 1lb loss.


So confession time - I took my eye off the ball on Sunday at a family gathering. While I know i couldn't possibly have eaten an extra 3500 calories in one day in order for me to stay the same weight as a week ago, it's still frustrating that I'm still retaining water or whatever two days later and that it has affected my weigh-in.


I just cannot seem to control myself at the weekends and especially at social occasions. I think it's an amalgamation of several factors, one being that I don't really want people knowing that I'm 'dieting' as this leads to having to answer lots of tedious questions normally posed by people who have very old fashioned understanding of weight-loss. It also plants seeds of worry in older relatives who very much enjoy feeding me cake until I'm as plump as a pudding.


I am also still of the mental ilk that being on a 'diet' means you cannot relax and enjoy yourself. This results in resentment which leads to self sabotage. Why do I think this? I know, deep down, that life and happiness do not revolve around food, but I, as thousands of other people, have been raised in a food culture. Food is the nucleus of all social interaction; celebration and commiseration, not just in my family, but in general society. The act of feeding, of providing food and therefore nurture and goodness to those you care about, is as old as time. There are subconscious emotions involved in providing and accepting food, that you become acutely aware of when you are restricted in what you can eat. Preparing and offering food is the easiest and most basic way of demonstrating your love for someone and by rejecting that food, you are inadvertently rejecting the person.


I have to learn how to say no. I often find myself saying yes, not because I particularly want to eat the food being offered, but because I don't want to offend the person offering it to me. This probably harks back to my childhood, when declining a second helping of Granny's shepherd's pie, meant that she assumed you didn't actually like it. It's inherent in me, and I need to get rid of it! Bad weekends have been my downfall ever since the beginning of my weight loss, if I can sort this out, the scales will hopefully move onwards and downwards!